


Easy Access

by mayamaia



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayamaia/pseuds/mayamaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What ARE you wearing?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easy Access

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kleenexwoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleenexwoman/gifts).



> originally written for kleenexwoman's birthday a couple of years ago. And then I forgot it.

April scurried to catch up to the blonde man striding down the hall in high good humor. Hearing her footsteps, Illya glanced back briefly, and slowed to accomodate her, smirking a little. April grinned, caught up, and bumped his shoulder with hers. "Well? Spill!"

Illya's eyebrow rose at her, but the smirk didn't leave his face. "Might I bother you for clarification, madame?". April punched his arm for the "madame" and he chuckled.

"What has gotten you in such a good mood that you are smiling all over the corridors?" April raised her eyebrow back at him. "You are frightening all the filing clerks. They think there must be a bomb somewhere."

Illya chuckled at that and answered, "He's in our office. You will just have to see it." He said no more for the last few yards, and actually bowed to offer the door to April first. Her head turned as she approached the door to keep an eye on Illya's smug grin, so she was already inside when she first saw Napoleon.

He was leaning over the desk, staring into a makeup mirror, and daubing at his face with a sponge. Sharing the surface was a curly black wig, which had already been styled with a brilliant red ribbon. Napoleon himself was wearing a ruffled white blouse which his shoulders stretched almost to its limit. A few steps closer (April didn't dare pause in shock), and it became clear that he wore an ankle length skirt of as bright a crimson as the ribbon's. The skirt was ruffled, too.

Napoleon looked up. "Ah, Illya was as good as his word, I see. April, may I borrow your lipstick? Everything in Illya's kit is designed to make a man less noticeable, and I was hoping to stand out."

"I am pretty sure you have nothing to fear on that count," she said. A few heartbeats later, April wondered why Napoleon was looking at her expectantly, then shook herself and started to sheepishly rummage through her purse.

Illya had entered the room behind her and was examining the wig. "You would do better to have someone style the hair after you put it on, Napoleon. That would guarantee that it will lie flat on your head."

Speaking around the lipstick, Napoleon replied, "The hair is far too curly to lie flat anyway. Besides, I am supposed to do this all myself, right?"

Illya made no reply except an amused snort.

April was nearly squirming from curiosity by then, so Napoleon had pity on her. "I'm going to guess Illya hasn't explained a thing to you." April shook her head, struggling mightily against a grin. "We are going to a party and Illya needs a date."

Illya interjected, "A costume party, and I am supposed to bring a date for the lady I am meeting there. She will be in a tuxedo."

April grinned at them, and had to ask, "So are you going to be in a dress too, Illya?"

He looked at her very levelly and answered, "The party rules are that the women may not wear skirts and the men may not wear pants. I will be in a kilt."

April tilted her head "Oh now, Illya, that's hardly in the spirit, is it?"

Napoleon, apparently satisfied with his handiwork, grinned as he passed the lipstick back to April. "I don't know, Miss Dancer, it seems fine to me. After all, it's easy access either way!"


End file.
